So I'm making the rounds and running my errands, and as I leave the long driveway of that insufferable Wa1-mart (only because it shares a driveway with Lowe's and that's where my errand was) I see this young woman sitting by the side of the drive with a pile of bags, a little scruffy dog, and a sign inscribed with the words in this title. I had to squint to make out the words because they were handwritten, obviously, but squished and uneven too. She could see I was trying to read the sign and she sat very still.
There are cars behind me and I feel pressured to drive on before I've finished decoding the sign. As I drive past I get a clearer view and make out all the words and see her state and glimpse the dog and watch her face get just a little sad as I pull away. Just the tiniest bit of sad. I'm swept up onto the highway where I immediately start crying.
Dunno.
So I cry and drive around the block and find all the change in my purse and in the car and I find all the folding money I have on me - which isn't much - and I swing around into the hell that is Wa1-mart once more and drive the long drive up to where she sits. I can see that she's picking up her bags and untethering the little scruffy dog. What she's being most careful with is a half a bag of Beneful dog food, so of course I begin crying again right on cue. I make myself stop the waterworks and pull up beside her.
She saw me and smiled. Small, fleeting, barely there and gone as quickly as her sadness. I was quite close and I waved her over to the open window on the passenger's side and first gave her all the change, which she placed in the pocket of a very large overcoat, and then gave her the folding money which was promptly tucked in beside the change. I looked her in the eyes - a very striking shade of blue - and saw all the cuts on her face and the calm sadness in the air and told her to take care. She didn't look away from my eyes when she thanked me.
I don't care what she spends the money on. Whatever brought her to the place where she's sitting by the side of the road on a rainy August afternoon with her little scruffy dog and a sign that says Traveling & Hungry & Anything Will Help is far more than I've ever had to deal with. She has needs I will never know.
I stopped.
2 comments:
I always say that the difference between dogs and humans is that we're a bit smarter, but they have better personalities...and I understand that homeless people with dogs often do make sure the dog is fed before themselves...have you seen the movie Wendy and Lucy?...or maybe you don't need anything more to cry about...
I've heard the lecture about not giving homeless money. Food and stuff is better. But what about their dignity as fellow human beings? Receiving charity might seem to be at odds with that, but cash with a look in their eyes is something. So is saying hello on those days when one passes a familiar person without any money in one's pockets.
Of course, where I live (DC), and as broke as I often am, I have to make choices about who to help, and that is often based on instinctive reactions to the people I see, not all of these reactions noble, no matter how I might try to spin it to myself.
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