Michele Bachmann's Private Prayercast

*overheard at Michele Bachmann's house later that night*

Dear Lord,

First, I want to apologize for being a hypocrite. Even though I'm a government official I still want to ignore that little thingy-dingy about the separation of church and state and make everyone I know submit to Your benevolent tyranny. I want our government to work for only those people who do exactly what I say...uh, I mean YOU say, oh Lord. Again, Lord, I beg Your forgiveness for my hypocrisy.

Next, I ask Your divine intervention in helping me control my insanity. I know You have provided the answer for that problem in the form of pharmaceuticals which I have willfully refused, and I ask Your forgiveness for that as well. If necessary, Lord, force those pills down my throat so that I might stop being a total ass in Congress, on television and on the Internets.

Finally, Lord, help me to get back from the end of myself. Unlike the Universe, the endlessness of which You created in six days, there is an end to me and I appear to be "there". All there, Lord. I'm so all-there I missed the big yellow sign that said "Caution! Go Back! You're Almost At the End of Yourself!" I ask Your help in finding my way back to the beginning of me.

Gotta go, Lord. My husband just called me to fulfill my wifely duties, and I must submit. I ask all of this in Thy name...amen.